Among the myriad things I've been doing with my life since jumping off the deep end, one of the things I really never thought I'd come back to, if we're being honest, is Stage Management. I busted my ass in school to even be recognized as capable of Stage Managing, I worked quite successfully in the theater my first few years in Chicago, but the cost of trying to balance running a show with working a full-time day job was just too much for me. I walked away from it for about a year, and then, somehow, managed to allow myself to be talked into doing *just one more* show.
Now that I'm not working a full-time day job, I find I'm able to be a much more effective stage manager.
The show I'm working on at present is Love and Understanding and is part of Redtwist Theatre's More Red series. You can find information about it at Redtwist's website.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy V-day
Spend some time with your honey if you have one. Spend some time with yourself if you don't. Everyone needs a little love sometimes, and self-care and lovin' can be some of the best. Eat some chocolate, drink some tea, relax and spend some mindful time with yourself.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Writing without a net
One of the few things I am exceptionally disciplined about is writing. Unlike pretty much everything else, I get up and write when I'm sick, when I'm depressed, when I'm so busy with other things my head might explode. I drabble on the train, I journal in coffeeshops, I slip quotes and soundbytes in between rehearsal reports and line notes.
The kicker, of course, is that writing really is the last thing I do purely for the joy of it. I don't write to make money. I don't receive monetary compensation of any kind for the vast majority of the work I do.
Like this place, a lot of it is journalling. Mental check-ins. Some of it is focused on organizing and crystallizing my purpose for the day, week, month, what-have-you. And... A lot of it is fanfiction.
Judge away. I'll wait.
Unfortunately for you, dear readers few and far-between, the stuff I write is good. It's... GOOD. I write fanfiction to lay the smackdown on other stories, to proverbially 'show them how it's done'. Well... That's not WHY I write them. I write them because I have crushes on Ben Linus and MacGyver and the only satisfaction I can get is to weave my own little proxy into their universe. But it's no secret that writing is the one skill I possess that has been honed and shaped by years of gradual practice. Somehow, impatient, perfectionist Megan (Raven?) allowed a hobby to survive that was, in the beginning, just as rough and awful and blatantly self-insertient and sensationalist as everyone else, and slowly weeded out the awful bits and polished in a sense of style.
One of the things I plan on doing with this little blog is making regular updates that involve segments of my fanfiction. Barf, I know. If you're not a fan of MacGyver, or LOST, or Person of Interest, or Star Trek... too bad. Feel free to skip 'em. But they'll probably be a weekly thing, aggregated under "writing without a net"
So get used to it. First up will be the oldest story I dare share with a public audience. Between Two Fires. The first story I ever began writing, put down, walked away for literally years, came back, picked up, dusted off, and realized I could still work with. That's what you get to look forward to.
The kicker, of course, is that writing really is the last thing I do purely for the joy of it. I don't write to make money. I don't receive monetary compensation of any kind for the vast majority of the work I do.
Like this place, a lot of it is journalling. Mental check-ins. Some of it is focused on organizing and crystallizing my purpose for the day, week, month, what-have-you. And... A lot of it is fanfiction.
Judge away. I'll wait.
Unfortunately for you, dear readers few and far-between, the stuff I write is good. It's... GOOD. I write fanfiction to lay the smackdown on other stories, to proverbially 'show them how it's done'. Well... That's not WHY I write them. I write them because I have crushes on Ben Linus and MacGyver and the only satisfaction I can get is to weave my own little proxy into their universe. But it's no secret that writing is the one skill I possess that has been honed and shaped by years of gradual practice. Somehow, impatient, perfectionist Megan (Raven?) allowed a hobby to survive that was, in the beginning, just as rough and awful and blatantly self-insertient and sensationalist as everyone else, and slowly weeded out the awful bits and polished in a sense of style.
One of the things I plan on doing with this little blog is making regular updates that involve segments of my fanfiction. Barf, I know. If you're not a fan of MacGyver, or LOST, or Person of Interest, or Star Trek... too bad. Feel free to skip 'em. But they'll probably be a weekly thing, aggregated under "writing without a net"
So get used to it. First up will be the oldest story I dare share with a public audience. Between Two Fires. The first story I ever began writing, put down, walked away for literally years, came back, picked up, dusted off, and realized I could still work with. That's what you get to look forward to.
What have you been up to NOW, Raven Gemini?
It's been a while. Sometimes I'm good at keeping things up... sometimes I really let things go by the wayside.
I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, Flying Without A Net, wherein I can chronicle my various artsy/crafty endeavours, bitch about being a creative professional ("professional"), and generally offer advice to others, like myself, who have chosen to leap off the cliff of uncertainty into the blue beyond of creative funemployment.
Speaking of creative funemployment, you all really have no idea what I've been up to the better part of this past year. Well... If you happen to follow my photoblog over at www.singingravenphoto.com, you certainly do, but.
Where I left off here, I was frustrated with my life at Provision. Well... I left Provision. I left last June, in fact, and have been unemployed ever since. I exist as a cobbled-together mass of unemployment checks, photography gigs, days on set as an extra, burlesque performances, and occasional stints as Model, Stage Manager, and proprietor of my very own Etsy shop. And... I'd like to have a place where I can talk about all those things. So before I go off and pay for hosting or some nonsense like that... Maybe we'll dig this old thing out of the grave, and we'll see where it goes.
I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, Flying Without A Net, wherein I can chronicle my various artsy/crafty endeavours, bitch about being a creative professional ("professional"), and generally offer advice to others, like myself, who have chosen to leap off the cliff of uncertainty into the blue beyond of creative funemployment.
Speaking of creative funemployment, you all really have no idea what I've been up to the better part of this past year. Well... If you happen to follow my photoblog over at www.singingravenphoto.com, you certainly do, but.
Where I left off here, I was frustrated with my life at Provision. Well... I left Provision. I left last June, in fact, and have been unemployed ever since. I exist as a cobbled-together mass of unemployment checks, photography gigs, days on set as an extra, burlesque performances, and occasional stints as Model, Stage Manager, and proprietor of my very own Etsy shop. And... I'd like to have a place where I can talk about all those things. So before I go off and pay for hosting or some nonsense like that... Maybe we'll dig this old thing out of the grave, and we'll see where it goes.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Adventure time
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about what's going to happen to me come Fall. I'm (obviously) not going back to school this year (I wasn't accepted to the program I applied to, but we'll go for it again next year). Kenneth has told me over and over again that I need to get out of Provision, and I know he's right. I know he is. But, somehow, I keep thinking that maybe I'd stick around for a couple extra months, which would suck me into another season, which would keep me there another year. And I really just don't think I can take it.
The thought of searching for another day job is enough to give me fits of anxiety. It's really the last thing I want to do. I don't want to admit defeat and crawl home, I don't want a new day job, my whole plan for Singing Raven is hackneyed by lack of time, money, energy, everything. And I don't want it to be. Somehow, when other people decide that they're going to make something happen, they do it. They find the resources. They find the place that will nurture them and get them moving on the right path.
I want to do that. I want to find that way. I want to figure out how to finance it, and where to go, and just fucking DO. IT. ALREADY. Because I'm tired of being someone else's doormat.
I'm not even prepared to wait for fall. I don't want to think that way anymore. I don't want to sit here at the desk that's never been mine, and look at the clock and think... once this next show is over...
I'm having such a hard time realizing that I don't have all the answers. I'm not magically imbued with everything I need to succeed. It's not a bad thing. It's just that... I need other people. I need other people for SO many reasons. Even if it's just to drag me out of the house long enough to notice that there's a help wanted sign in my neighborhood, that I might not have to make this crazy commute every day. Or to tell me about some nifty free seminar, or book recommendation, or place to go to ask for information. I don't have eyes everywhere in the universe. I can't be in every corner of the city at once to see these things. But other people can see them, and my friendship with them can make their accessibility so much easier.
As absurd as it sounds, I've been neglecting the one rule I thought was obvious to me from the start. It's WHO, not WHAT you know.
The thought of searching for another day job is enough to give me fits of anxiety. It's really the last thing I want to do. I don't want to admit defeat and crawl home, I don't want a new day job, my whole plan for Singing Raven is hackneyed by lack of time, money, energy, everything. And I don't want it to be. Somehow, when other people decide that they're going to make something happen, they do it. They find the resources. They find the place that will nurture them and get them moving on the right path.
I want to do that. I want to find that way. I want to figure out how to finance it, and where to go, and just fucking DO. IT. ALREADY. Because I'm tired of being someone else's doormat.
I'm not even prepared to wait for fall. I don't want to think that way anymore. I don't want to sit here at the desk that's never been mine, and look at the clock and think... once this next show is over...
I'm having such a hard time realizing that I don't have all the answers. I'm not magically imbued with everything I need to succeed. It's not a bad thing. It's just that... I need other people. I need other people for SO many reasons. Even if it's just to drag me out of the house long enough to notice that there's a help wanted sign in my neighborhood, that I might not have to make this crazy commute every day. Or to tell me about some nifty free seminar, or book recommendation, or place to go to ask for information. I don't have eyes everywhere in the universe. I can't be in every corner of the city at once to see these things. But other people can see them, and my friendship with them can make their accessibility so much easier.
As absurd as it sounds, I've been neglecting the one rule I thought was obvious to me from the start. It's WHO, not WHAT you know.
Monday, March 25, 2013
A day of rest
It isn't often that I get a day of rest.
The truth of the matter is, five years into my Chicago adventure, I'm still just as awful at managing my money and time as I ever was. I have, at least, gotten better at habitually doing things that pay me, rather than doing things that require a constant flow of spending money.
But I did indulge today, and headed out into the wild, wide world (ok, my neighborhood) with my cousin. My cousin who lives barely half a mile from me, whom I haven't seen in about six months. Because we're both very similar in disposition, and prefer to decompress on our own.
We went out for coffee and sandwiches, and to wander the shops, and generally just ogle all the things I wish I could thoughtlessly indulge in. It was a good time.
Two weeks from now, I will be elbows-deep into what could be my last rodeo as a Stage Manager ever. Depends on how I feel once it's said and done. It'll be an adventure. Today, at least, was a day of rest.
The truth of the matter is, five years into my Chicago adventure, I'm still just as awful at managing my money and time as I ever was. I have, at least, gotten better at habitually doing things that pay me, rather than doing things that require a constant flow of spending money.
But I did indulge today, and headed out into the wild, wide world (ok, my neighborhood) with my cousin. My cousin who lives barely half a mile from me, whom I haven't seen in about six months. Because we're both very similar in disposition, and prefer to decompress on our own.
We went out for coffee and sandwiches, and to wander the shops, and generally just ogle all the things I wish I could thoughtlessly indulge in. It was a good time.
Two weeks from now, I will be elbows-deep into what could be my last rodeo as a Stage Manager ever. Depends on how I feel once it's said and done. It'll be an adventure. Today, at least, was a day of rest.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
What have you been up to, Raven Gemini?
What HAVE you been up to, Raven Gemini?
Well, aside from my recent renaissance (this always seems to happen in the springtime), I really haven't updated much since September. Which is understandable, considering the time I've been having since then.
I got fired. But not really. I got "laid off" because there was no money to pay me during the beginning of our season this year, but I never actually stopped working, and I managed to get paid all the same. It's a long story.
I spent a long time being shaken by that, and allowing it to breed a lot of stress that shouldn't have even existed into my life.
I continued to build my Burlesque repertoire, including semi-retiring one of my first acts. (It might come back in the near future, in an altered state)
You can find those videos here:
http://vimeo.com/59413253
http://vimeo.com/61426308
and
http://vimeo.com/58280954
I've been slowly and quietly building momentum for my photography business in the background. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, but nothing ever does.
I applied to Columbia! And got rejected. But I applied. And I will again next year, with a more cohesive portfolio, and maybe some classes under my belt.
All in all, I've been moving myself into a better situation, slowly but surely.
Well, aside from my recent renaissance (this always seems to happen in the springtime), I really haven't updated much since September. Which is understandable, considering the time I've been having since then.
I got fired. But not really. I got "laid off" because there was no money to pay me during the beginning of our season this year, but I never actually stopped working, and I managed to get paid all the same. It's a long story.
I spent a long time being shaken by that, and allowing it to breed a lot of stress that shouldn't have even existed into my life.
I continued to build my Burlesque repertoire, including semi-retiring one of my first acts. (It might come back in the near future, in an altered state)
You can find those videos here:
http://vimeo.com/59413253
http://vimeo.com/61426308
and
http://vimeo.com/58280954
I've been slowly and quietly building momentum for my photography business in the background. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, but nothing ever does.
I applied to Columbia! And got rejected. But I applied. And I will again next year, with a more cohesive portfolio, and maybe some classes under my belt.
All in all, I've been moving myself into a better situation, slowly but surely.
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