One of the few things I am exceptionally disciplined about is writing. Unlike pretty much everything else, I get up and write when I'm sick, when I'm depressed, when I'm so busy with other things my head might explode. I drabble on the train, I journal in coffeeshops, I slip quotes and soundbytes in between rehearsal reports and line notes.
The kicker, of course, is that writing really is the last thing I do purely for the joy of it. I don't write to make money. I don't receive monetary compensation of any kind for the vast majority of the work I do.
Like this place, a lot of it is journalling. Mental check-ins. Some of it is focused on organizing and crystallizing my purpose for the day, week, month, what-have-you. And... A lot of it is fanfiction.
Judge away. I'll wait.
Unfortunately for you, dear readers few and far-between, the stuff I write is good. It's... GOOD. I write fanfiction to lay the smackdown on other stories, to proverbially 'show them how it's done'. Well... That's not WHY I write them. I write them because I have crushes on Ben Linus and MacGyver and the only satisfaction I can get is to weave my own little proxy into their universe. But it's no secret that writing is the one skill I possess that has been honed and shaped by years of gradual practice. Somehow, impatient, perfectionist Megan (Raven?) allowed a hobby to survive that was, in the beginning, just as rough and awful and blatantly self-insertient and sensationalist as everyone else, and slowly weeded out the awful bits and polished in a sense of style.
One of the things I plan on doing with this little blog is making regular updates that involve segments of my fanfiction. Barf, I know. If you're not a fan of MacGyver, or LOST, or Person of Interest, or Star Trek... too bad. Feel free to skip 'em. But they'll probably be a weekly thing, aggregated under "writing without a net"
So get used to it. First up will be the oldest story I dare share with a public audience. Between Two Fires. The first story I ever began writing, put down, walked away for literally years, came back, picked up, dusted off, and realized I could still work with. That's what you get to look forward to.
Showing posts with label Raven Gemini. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raven Gemini. Show all posts
Thursday, February 13, 2014
What have you been up to NOW, Raven Gemini?
It's been a while. Sometimes I'm good at keeping things up... sometimes I really let things go by the wayside.
I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, Flying Without A Net, wherein I can chronicle my various artsy/crafty endeavours, bitch about being a creative professional ("professional"), and generally offer advice to others, like myself, who have chosen to leap off the cliff of uncertainty into the blue beyond of creative funemployment.
Speaking of creative funemployment, you all really have no idea what I've been up to the better part of this past year. Well... If you happen to follow my photoblog over at www.singingravenphoto.com, you certainly do, but.
Where I left off here, I was frustrated with my life at Provision. Well... I left Provision. I left last June, in fact, and have been unemployed ever since. I exist as a cobbled-together mass of unemployment checks, photography gigs, days on set as an extra, burlesque performances, and occasional stints as Model, Stage Manager, and proprietor of my very own Etsy shop. And... I'd like to have a place where I can talk about all those things. So before I go off and pay for hosting or some nonsense like that... Maybe we'll dig this old thing out of the grave, and we'll see where it goes.
I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, Flying Without A Net, wherein I can chronicle my various artsy/crafty endeavours, bitch about being a creative professional ("professional"), and generally offer advice to others, like myself, who have chosen to leap off the cliff of uncertainty into the blue beyond of creative funemployment.
Speaking of creative funemployment, you all really have no idea what I've been up to the better part of this past year. Well... If you happen to follow my photoblog over at www.singingravenphoto.com, you certainly do, but.
Where I left off here, I was frustrated with my life at Provision. Well... I left Provision. I left last June, in fact, and have been unemployed ever since. I exist as a cobbled-together mass of unemployment checks, photography gigs, days on set as an extra, burlesque performances, and occasional stints as Model, Stage Manager, and proprietor of my very own Etsy shop. And... I'd like to have a place where I can talk about all those things. So before I go off and pay for hosting or some nonsense like that... Maybe we'll dig this old thing out of the grave, and we'll see where it goes.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Adventure time
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about what's going to happen to me come Fall. I'm (obviously) not going back to school this year (I wasn't accepted to the program I applied to, but we'll go for it again next year). Kenneth has told me over and over again that I need to get out of Provision, and I know he's right. I know he is. But, somehow, I keep thinking that maybe I'd stick around for a couple extra months, which would suck me into another season, which would keep me there another year. And I really just don't think I can take it.
The thought of searching for another day job is enough to give me fits of anxiety. It's really the last thing I want to do. I don't want to admit defeat and crawl home, I don't want a new day job, my whole plan for Singing Raven is hackneyed by lack of time, money, energy, everything. And I don't want it to be. Somehow, when other people decide that they're going to make something happen, they do it. They find the resources. They find the place that will nurture them and get them moving on the right path.
I want to do that. I want to find that way. I want to figure out how to finance it, and where to go, and just fucking DO. IT. ALREADY. Because I'm tired of being someone else's doormat.
I'm not even prepared to wait for fall. I don't want to think that way anymore. I don't want to sit here at the desk that's never been mine, and look at the clock and think... once this next show is over...
I'm having such a hard time realizing that I don't have all the answers. I'm not magically imbued with everything I need to succeed. It's not a bad thing. It's just that... I need other people. I need other people for SO many reasons. Even if it's just to drag me out of the house long enough to notice that there's a help wanted sign in my neighborhood, that I might not have to make this crazy commute every day. Or to tell me about some nifty free seminar, or book recommendation, or place to go to ask for information. I don't have eyes everywhere in the universe. I can't be in every corner of the city at once to see these things. But other people can see them, and my friendship with them can make their accessibility so much easier.
As absurd as it sounds, I've been neglecting the one rule I thought was obvious to me from the start. It's WHO, not WHAT you know.
The thought of searching for another day job is enough to give me fits of anxiety. It's really the last thing I want to do. I don't want to admit defeat and crawl home, I don't want a new day job, my whole plan for Singing Raven is hackneyed by lack of time, money, energy, everything. And I don't want it to be. Somehow, when other people decide that they're going to make something happen, they do it. They find the resources. They find the place that will nurture them and get them moving on the right path.
I want to do that. I want to find that way. I want to figure out how to finance it, and where to go, and just fucking DO. IT. ALREADY. Because I'm tired of being someone else's doormat.
I'm not even prepared to wait for fall. I don't want to think that way anymore. I don't want to sit here at the desk that's never been mine, and look at the clock and think... once this next show is over...
I'm having such a hard time realizing that I don't have all the answers. I'm not magically imbued with everything I need to succeed. It's not a bad thing. It's just that... I need other people. I need other people for SO many reasons. Even if it's just to drag me out of the house long enough to notice that there's a help wanted sign in my neighborhood, that I might not have to make this crazy commute every day. Or to tell me about some nifty free seminar, or book recommendation, or place to go to ask for information. I don't have eyes everywhere in the universe. I can't be in every corner of the city at once to see these things. But other people can see them, and my friendship with them can make their accessibility so much easier.
As absurd as it sounds, I've been neglecting the one rule I thought was obvious to me from the start. It's WHO, not WHAT you know.
Monday, March 25, 2013
A day of rest
It isn't often that I get a day of rest.
The truth of the matter is, five years into my Chicago adventure, I'm still just as awful at managing my money and time as I ever was. I have, at least, gotten better at habitually doing things that pay me, rather than doing things that require a constant flow of spending money.
But I did indulge today, and headed out into the wild, wide world (ok, my neighborhood) with my cousin. My cousin who lives barely half a mile from me, whom I haven't seen in about six months. Because we're both very similar in disposition, and prefer to decompress on our own.
We went out for coffee and sandwiches, and to wander the shops, and generally just ogle all the things I wish I could thoughtlessly indulge in. It was a good time.
Two weeks from now, I will be elbows-deep into what could be my last rodeo as a Stage Manager ever. Depends on how I feel once it's said and done. It'll be an adventure. Today, at least, was a day of rest.
The truth of the matter is, five years into my Chicago adventure, I'm still just as awful at managing my money and time as I ever was. I have, at least, gotten better at habitually doing things that pay me, rather than doing things that require a constant flow of spending money.
But I did indulge today, and headed out into the wild, wide world (ok, my neighborhood) with my cousin. My cousin who lives barely half a mile from me, whom I haven't seen in about six months. Because we're both very similar in disposition, and prefer to decompress on our own.
We went out for coffee and sandwiches, and to wander the shops, and generally just ogle all the things I wish I could thoughtlessly indulge in. It was a good time.
Two weeks from now, I will be elbows-deep into what could be my last rodeo as a Stage Manager ever. Depends on how I feel once it's said and done. It'll be an adventure. Today, at least, was a day of rest.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
What have you been up to, Raven Gemini?
What HAVE you been up to, Raven Gemini?
Well, aside from my recent renaissance (this always seems to happen in the springtime), I really haven't updated much since September. Which is understandable, considering the time I've been having since then.
I got fired. But not really. I got "laid off" because there was no money to pay me during the beginning of our season this year, but I never actually stopped working, and I managed to get paid all the same. It's a long story.
I spent a long time being shaken by that, and allowing it to breed a lot of stress that shouldn't have even existed into my life.
I continued to build my Burlesque repertoire, including semi-retiring one of my first acts. (It might come back in the near future, in an altered state)
You can find those videos here:
http://vimeo.com/59413253
http://vimeo.com/61426308
and
http://vimeo.com/58280954
I've been slowly and quietly building momentum for my photography business in the background. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, but nothing ever does.
I applied to Columbia! And got rejected. But I applied. And I will again next year, with a more cohesive portfolio, and maybe some classes under my belt.
All in all, I've been moving myself into a better situation, slowly but surely.
Well, aside from my recent renaissance (this always seems to happen in the springtime), I really haven't updated much since September. Which is understandable, considering the time I've been having since then.
I got fired. But not really. I got "laid off" because there was no money to pay me during the beginning of our season this year, but I never actually stopped working, and I managed to get paid all the same. It's a long story.
I spent a long time being shaken by that, and allowing it to breed a lot of stress that shouldn't have even existed into my life.
I continued to build my Burlesque repertoire, including semi-retiring one of my first acts. (It might come back in the near future, in an altered state)
You can find those videos here:
http://vimeo.com/59413253
http://vimeo.com/61426308
and
http://vimeo.com/58280954
I've been slowly and quietly building momentum for my photography business in the background. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, but nothing ever does.
I applied to Columbia! And got rejected. But I applied. And I will again next year, with a more cohesive portfolio, and maybe some classes under my belt.
All in all, I've been moving myself into a better situation, slowly but surely.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Singing Raven Portraits?
Singing Raven doesn't get a whole lot of opportunity to shoot portraits, but I did shoot a fun, snowy little session with my Mister, Kenneth over Christmas break.
The best shot to come out of that would have to be this one:
He looks so grumpy, but it's just such a striking image.
The best shot to come out of that would have to be this one:
Singing Raven Photography
Have I mentioned I take photographs? Of course I have. I've beat to death the notion that I am the photographer who doesn't photograph, that there are so MANY reasons why I can't just bugger off and do as I please.
There really aren't that many reasons. The biggest one is probably actually depression, which can be significant, but I've been good for a bit, so work's been getting done.
I take photographs. Live performances, mostly. I'd like to shoot bands, but I also do some theater and burlesque work as the need arises. Comes with the territory of being a burlesque-dancing photographer, whose day job just happens to be for a theater.
You can check out my photos at www.facebook.com/singingravenphotography
Nifty, yes?
There really aren't that many reasons. The biggest one is probably actually depression, which can be significant, but I've been good for a bit, so work's been getting done.
I take photographs. Live performances, mostly. I'd like to shoot bands, but I also do some theater and burlesque work as the need arises. Comes with the territory of being a burlesque-dancing photographer, whose day job just happens to be for a theater.
You can check out my photos at www.facebook.com/singingravenphotography
Nifty, yes?
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
December??
Evidently, it's been awhile. But I noticed that I had 21 posts this year, which was exactly the number of posts I had last year, and I thought "To hell with that, let's show improvement."
So I'm posting now.
Also, I made a pattern blog
www.ravenspatterns.blogspot.com
It's Ravens Big Damn Patterns Blog, and in it, I will be sharing hilarious bits from my massive vintage pattern collection, as well as occasionally putting up legit reviews and finished projects (Assuming I ever *finish* a project)
Most of the patterns I lovingly ridicule are available on my Etsy.
So I'm posting now.
Also, I made a pattern blog
www.ravenspatterns.blogspot.com
It's Ravens Big Damn Patterns Blog, and in it, I will be sharing hilarious bits from my massive vintage pattern collection, as well as occasionally putting up legit reviews and finished projects (Assuming I ever *finish* a project)
Most of the patterns I lovingly ridicule are available on my Etsy.
Friday, May 18, 2012
I'm not dead. I promise!
Things have gotten very busy here for me, and by that I mean:
~I had a bunch of performances all in a row for which I was crazy behind in finishing costumes/choreography/what-have-you.
~THEN it was almost time for me to go on my mini-tour seeing Rammstein.
~THEN I saw them. In Chicago. And Detroit. On the rail.
~THEN (well, not really THEN, more like WHILE I WAS DOING THAT...) I got into the coveted afterparty in Chicago, a surprisingly chill deal wherein I did a little dancing, got Richard Z K to sign my ticket, was TWO FEET from Paul Landers, but all I had in me to say was a lame hello, and generally behaved like a socially inept dweeb. BUT I GOT IN. Baby steps. Schneider was also there, but he was pretty preoccupied with some other chick, and since I was busy being awkward turtle I figured I'd just avoid that whole situation. (not like "PREOCCUPIED" preoccupied. But he was talking to her, and I was just sort of orbiting them all like some sort of awkward-feeling asteroid (Or Pluto, perhaps? It has to be awkward not really being a planet anymore.), so. Yeah.)
~and NOW I'm staring down the barrel of four performances in the next two weeks, four in June, and four in July, not to mention the start of rehearsals for Lebowski (BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THAT AGAIN THIS YEAR. WHEE!), plus PUDDLE and the Windy City Burlesque Fest, and all the prep work that I have to do for THOSE things, and... Urgh.
So... Busy. busybusybusy. But it's good busy.
P.S. Paul Landers is wonderful. I have such a crush it's shameful. I couldn't say a damn thing to him because I was afraid of sounding like a weirdo. It was like being in high school all over again, except we're grown adults and there's no reason I should feel that way around ANYONE anymore, particularly someone I might never see again.
P.P.S
See?
~I had a bunch of performances all in a row for which I was crazy behind in finishing costumes/choreography/what-have-you.
~THEN it was almost time for me to go on my mini-tour seeing Rammstein.
~THEN I saw them. In Chicago. And Detroit. On the rail.
~THEN (well, not really THEN, more like WHILE I WAS DOING THAT...) I got into the coveted afterparty in Chicago, a surprisingly chill deal wherein I did a little dancing, got Richard Z K to sign my ticket, was TWO FEET from Paul Landers, but all I had in me to say was a lame hello, and generally behaved like a socially inept dweeb. BUT I GOT IN. Baby steps. Schneider was also there, but he was pretty preoccupied with some other chick, and since I was busy being awkward turtle I figured I'd just avoid that whole situation. (not like "PREOCCUPIED" preoccupied. But he was talking to her, and I was just sort of orbiting them all like some sort of awkward-feeling asteroid (Or Pluto, perhaps? It has to be awkward not really being a planet anymore.), so. Yeah.)
~and NOW I'm staring down the barrel of four performances in the next two weeks, four in June, and four in July, not to mention the start of rehearsals for Lebowski (BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THAT AGAIN THIS YEAR. WHEE!), plus PUDDLE and the Windy City Burlesque Fest, and all the prep work that I have to do for THOSE things, and... Urgh.
So... Busy. busybusybusy. But it's good busy.
P.S. Paul Landers is wonderful. I have such a crush it's shameful. I couldn't say a damn thing to him because I was afraid of sounding like a weirdo. It was like being in high school all over again, except we're grown adults and there's no reason I should feel that way around ANYONE anymore, particularly someone I might never see again.
P.P.S
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The big announcement, part two
Well, I guess now's as good a time as any to make my big announcement. I will be performing my murder act (Haifisch) as part of this year's Windy City Burlesque Fest! I'll be getting the opportunity to share the stage with such wonderful, talented ladies as Jo Boobs, Foxy Tann, and Penny Starr Jr. (Whom I've met on a few occasions, and have a huge admiration for)
In addition to being able to perform with such esteemed burly-girls, I am also crafting my (not-so) famous handmade feather fascinators for the goodie-bags of all our headliners and featured performers. I'm stoked (and terrified).
SO. If you happen to be in the Chicagoland area the weekend of July 13-14th, you should REALLY make it a priority to get yourself down to at least one of the showcases of the Windy City Burlesque Fest. (Hint hint, I'll be performing at 8pm on Friday, the 13th. Not like you weren't going to figure that out on your own, to come see me. But now I've done the work for you.)
In addition to being able to perform with such esteemed burly-girls, I am also crafting my (not-so) famous handmade feather fascinators for the goodie-bags of all our headliners and featured performers. I'm stoked (and terrified).
SO. If you happen to be in the Chicagoland area the weekend of July 13-14th, you should REALLY make it a priority to get yourself down to at least one of the showcases of the Windy City Burlesque Fest. (Hint hint, I'll be performing at 8pm on Friday, the 13th. Not like you weren't going to figure that out on your own, to come see me. But now I've done the work for you.)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Vaudezilla's student showcase
Friday's performance went well. As I believe I have mentioned, it was Vaudezilla's student showcase, which meant that there were a lot of ladies taking it off (or partially taking it off) for the very first time. It can be very exciting and refreshing to see so many new faces, especially when they are all so enthused to be performing.
I did not get to watch most of the actual show. Or... I could have, if I was willing to brave the muggy humidity and unbearable warmth of the bar, but I instead retreated to the cellar office we use as a dressing room, and got a play-by-play from every relieved newbie.
Sometimes I forget why I perform. It's very easy to get wrapped up in the minutae of planning this act, fixing that costume, drudging up the money for something new, being pushed toward the next big theater show and its next big theme. I've been very tired of thinking about new acts for awhile. Not because I don't want to have new acts, mind you. Because I do. But I feel like all of this has just been happening so quickly, an inexorable progression toward an endgame that I am increasingly unable to see.
Before I began performing, the road looked fairly straight. Put together some acts. Weed out the ones that don't work, cultivate new ones. Promote yourself. Get famous. It obviously helps if you're a) talented, b) driven, or c) both of the above.
The fact is that I'm working on three solo acts, two independent group acts, I'm learning all the Vaudezilla group acts. And I've got to carve out separate times to work on all these. I'm starting to think that I've perhaps stretched myself a little too thin. I think that it's time for me to only worry about the things that I really need to worry about RIGHT NOW. The rest is going to come. It will. But I will say this. Once I'm done with these three acts, really good and done with them, I'm taking a break. I'll perform them until I'm blue in the face, but I don't want to think about anything new for awhile.
I did not get to watch most of the actual show. Or... I could have, if I was willing to brave the muggy humidity and unbearable warmth of the bar, but I instead retreated to the cellar office we use as a dressing room, and got a play-by-play from every relieved newbie.
Sometimes I forget why I perform. It's very easy to get wrapped up in the minutae of planning this act, fixing that costume, drudging up the money for something new, being pushed toward the next big theater show and its next big theme. I've been very tired of thinking about new acts for awhile. Not because I don't want to have new acts, mind you. Because I do. But I feel like all of this has just been happening so quickly, an inexorable progression toward an endgame that I am increasingly unable to see.
Before I began performing, the road looked fairly straight. Put together some acts. Weed out the ones that don't work, cultivate new ones. Promote yourself. Get famous. It obviously helps if you're a) talented, b) driven, or c) both of the above.
The fact is that I'm working on three solo acts, two independent group acts, I'm learning all the Vaudezilla group acts. And I've got to carve out separate times to work on all these. I'm starting to think that I've perhaps stretched myself a little too thin. I think that it's time for me to only worry about the things that I really need to worry about RIGHT NOW. The rest is going to come. It will. But I will say this. Once I'm done with these three acts, really good and done with them, I'm taking a break. I'll perform them until I'm blue in the face, but I don't want to think about anything new for awhile.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I was looking at my blog stats, and apparently, one person from the Czech Republic has viewed my blog.
You know you've made it when... ^_^
In all seriousness, I'm really just here to point you in the direction of
Raven Gemini
Also known as my burlesque alter-ego. I'll eventually have a real website for her. Just like I'll eventually blog on a regular basis. :P
Um... anyway. The whole point of this is to say that I will be performing (in my official DEBUT, no less) this Friday in Chicago. It's going to be fabulous. I'm sure video will be forthcoming.
You know you've made it when... ^_^
In all seriousness, I'm really just here to point you in the direction of
Raven Gemini
Also known as my burlesque alter-ego. I'll eventually have a real website for her. Just like I'll eventually blog on a regular basis. :P
Um... anyway. The whole point of this is to say that I will be performing (in my official DEBUT, no less) this Friday in Chicago. It's going to be fabulous. I'm sure video will be forthcoming.
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