Tuesday, April 13, 2010

So... I just haven't been posting lately.
I've been inordinately busy. My newest show opened last Saturday, and so if I wasn't in the theatre, I was shopping for props, or printing paperwork at the kinkos, or eating garbage fast food, or sleeping.

I am still without the coveted day-job, which puts me in a precarious place anymore. I have about a month's worth of money left, and if I don't get a job in the next three weeks or so, then I think I'll have to pack up and leave here for good.

I've had a good feeling about some of the interviews I've been on lately, but I'm not holding my breath. After all, I've had probably fifty first interviews, only one second interview (though I have another scheduled for this week) and obviously nothing further than that. I'm trying not to think about it too much, because I don't think I could deal with it if I did think about it.

There's nothing for me back in Michigan. Nothing. Here I have a social life, I have theatre, I have burlesque. I have people who want to take my picture. I have a feeling of significance. I have a garden that is just waiting for me to be able to take it outside and really let it grow.

And the best part of all of this is that since I've been doing all this theatre, I'm so rejuvinated. The days that I have free, I just want to do EVERYTHING. I want to knit, I want to read, I want to go out, I want to see things and do things. I'm not exhausted all the time anymore. I have a will to do, and I'm so frustrated that I can't go out and attack some job with this ferocity that I have inside me.

Just think. If they loved me at my last job, when I was an exhausted zombie all the time, whoever gets me next is going to be ecstatic. I just CAN'T WAIT to tackle something, to get something accomplished. To do something worthwhile. I just wish that someone, anyone could see that.

...On a separate note, I have some potatoes sprouting merrily in pots, waiting until I can get a big rubbermaid to transplant them into for the summer. One onion (it was the last one in a bag I bought, guilty.) some peas and some green beans are all started too. I'm experimenting. Testing my resolve. I want to see if I really have what it takes to actually tend to a garden by myself. I mean... I typically just ignore my plants and whatever happens, happens. But I'd like to take a more active role in raising them, as well as getting something that I think is tasty out of it. And nothing is quite as tasty as homegrown veggies.