Sunday, February 21, 2010

An Update

Hello, hello.
Um. Not much has been going on here. I closed one show on Valentines' Day, and was settling into a life comprised of getting up late, scouring Craigslist for job postings, and elbowing my way into as many Burlesque gigs as I could fit into my indefinite break.

Well. It is my pleasure to tell you that, as of today, though still *technically* unemployed, I have gotten myself another show. An Equity production. Yes, I've managed to secure myself a position working alongside the coveted Actors' Equity Association. A foothold toward becoming a union stage manager. A foothold toward working in places like, oh, BROADWAY.

I won't get there for a long, long time, if ever. But this is a strong and definite step in the right direction.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Every few years I experience a particularly intense urge to have plants. It mostly comes out of the desire to have a small, fuzzy animal to take care of, but not having the space or funds to support and feed said fuzzy animal at that particular time. So I usually acquire vegetable plants instead.

Soon, the Lincoln Square farmers' market will be starting up again, and I'll have my pick of any number of homegrown seedlings. The question is; what will I keep this year?

Assuming I'll have a job in the next few weeks (because that very much affects what I do with the garden, or even what state I'll be gardening in), I would like to get my usual pot or two of cayenne peppers started up. (They were stupidly allowed to wither last year, thanks to me being dumb and leaving the horticulture to my roommate) But I am thinking I might also want to pick up some heirloom tomatoes (or just tomatoes, period.)

I have been grossly malnourished over the past several months, due to the fact that, well, I have no job. And so, right now, my lack of fresh food is appalling to me. I'm not even sure what I would do with tomatoes, as I don't particularly like them, but I'm sure I can pawn them off on my roommate, or integrate them into *something.*

I would also like to try my hand at growing potatoes, something I have not tried since my family planted one or two as an experiment when I was a child.

Lastly, english peas, as I recall my childhood neighbors having a vine of them in their backyard, and the little neighbor girl and I used to shell and eat them right off the vine many years ago.

Of course, if I had my way, all this would be supplemented with yellow onions, garlic, and corn at the very least, because I adore each of these things. (and my roommate uses a literal head of garlic in every single thing she cooks. Every day. Ever.) But I really, seriously doubt I have the space for any of these things, since our backyard is A) about 12 feet square and B) we have to share it with the upstairs neighbors. Such is life in a city.

The backyard is sunny and wonderful, but not in any of the places I want to dig up and use. So I'll likely be container planting the peppers and tomatoes. I have a spot picked out for a trellis of peas, against the garage, and... god help me if I figure out what to do with these potatoes, but I just kind of want to chuck them in a rubbermaid with some dirt and see what happens.

But, yes. In a fabulously perfect world, I would be blessed with all the bounty I could handle, and I would somehow know exactly what to do with it all. As it stands, I'm using this as experiment number one: Will I actually take care of the green things in my yard? The idea of supplementing my diet (and my wallet!) with food that I've grown myself is awfully attractive, but my resources are woefully thin, and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to take the plunge. But it's now or never, I suppose, if I want to live a little more responsibly, and a little healthier as well.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Oh crud, I've been tagged!

I got tagged to do this over at A City Chicken Farm. Evidently, I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. ^_^ I've been reading and following a lot of new blogs lately, and I spent a good portion of last night reading through hers.

The rules are:

Answer the questions with one word, then pass it along to 5 other bloggers.

Have fun!

Your Cell Phone? red

Your Hair? red!

Your Mother? worries

Your Father? wonderful

Your Favorite Food? POTATOES

Your Dream Last Night? horses

Your Favorite Drink? water

Your Dream/Goal? chickens

What Room Are You In? bedroom

Your Hobby? Burlesque

Your Fear? ladders

Where Do You See Yourself In Six Years? Theatre

Where Were You Last Night? Here

Something That You Aren't? defeated


Wish List Item? Pullips!

Where Did You Grow Up? Detroit

Last Thing You Did? email

What Are You Wearing? Bracelets?

Your TV? nonexistant

Your Pets? Facebook :/

Friends? Jersey

Your Life? improving

Your Mood? sore

Missing Someone? sometimes

Vehicle? Justin!

Something You Aren't Wearing? Pants

Your Favorite Store? Express

Your Favorite Color? Teal

When Was The Last Time You Laughed? Yesterday

Last Time You Cried? days

Your Best Friend? Dan

One Place You Go To Over And Over Again? Moody

Facebook? Yup

Twitter? ravenwcatz

Favorite Place To Eat? Olgas!

The question is, who do I tag?
1. Cottleston Pie and Then Some
2. Style Assault
3. StarSquigglyStar
4. Not Your Typical Journey
5. Oh Snap

Some of you follow me and will know what the hell I'm talking about. Some of you might stumble by wondering "who the hell is this person, following me?" Either way, DO IT. You know you want to.

...Now for some breffast.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Thinking out loud

In the glow of having a zOMG NEW BLOG, (and having never had one before) I've been spending a fair bit of time cruising around, checking out other people's blogs, looking at the things other people do, the goals they have, and what they write about. And I've discovered a few things.

1) the idea of having babies is completely foreign to me, and runs contrary to my instincts.
This has nothing to do with my main point, but, it's still valid. I just don't understand the need to have babies. (Ok, I understand the need to have babies. But... there are seven or eight billion people on this planet, humanity will get along just fine without my particular offspring.)

2) My goals are starting to solidify.
I don't really know how I stumbled to the conclusion that I wanted what I want. I was just horribly depressed and suddenly chickens sounded like a good idea. They don't require a fabulous amount of space, they provide you with fresh eggs, and they're fun to watch. But at the same time, I have a career I've worked toward. Stage Management is fulfilling for me. That misplaced mother instinct (as evidenced by numero eins up there) rests on my actors instead. I want nothing more than to care for my company, and serve them well during whatever production I might be working on. Lastly, I have one very rewarding hobby, and I'm working at developing a few more. Burlesque is rewarding to me. There's nothing like spending the evening in the company of women who are beautiful simply because they believe they're beautiful. I'm cultivating a stamina for knitting, I'd like to do the same for sewing. I'd like to be able to make good quality things for myself and for others, someday.

And I don't think that I should have to pick and choose my dreams. I don't understand why I can't get up in the morning, feed my chickens, work during the day at making things for others, then spend my nights alternately keeping the stage or taking my clothes off. I don't understand why living in a city means I have to be content with what the Jewel offers me to eat. Why can't I sustain myself? It's becoming more of a question of sustaining myself, nourishing myself, not only with good, fresh foods, but also with stimulating activity, things that interest me and energize me.

So my goals are becoming clearer. Now I get to start the research. I'm a city girl, living in Chicago, but a Detroit expat. I know nothing about crop rotation, or what I could even put in the space I'll likely have. I will need to learn how to be creative with space. I'll need to learn to use what I have, instead of ignoring it in the name of "whatever I feel like." I need to learn to depend on myself.

Monday, February 8, 2010


...and, in some cases, a little bit of regress.

Progress comes with a variety of faces. And sometimes, a little regress is welcome too.
I have been continuing with my goal of knitting daily, and I have put out three blanket squares in (I believe) less than three weeks. What took me months to do before, I've done in a matter of weeks, and there's a fair bit of pride in me to realize that my actions have tangible results.

Progress, too, has been made in the realm of my personal existence. I discovered earlier in the week that a boy with whom I have a long and arduous past has recently gotten himself a Facebook, after years of adamantly denying he would ever have one. Upon a quick overview of the place (something that it pains me even to admit having done) I have discovered that, in fact, he is still the same boy I demanded leave my life a year ago this month. And it is becoming clear to me now, in ways that somehow eluded me for the previous FIVE YEARS, that this separation is exactly what I need. And that I need to concentrate on what I've done and accomplished.
Yes, this past year has been insanely rough for me without his presence, but I've done so damn much. I moved to a new city. I lived on my own. I've stumbled through a series of more or less successful jobs. I've Stage Managed two professional shows. And I've discovered the Burlesque community, a group of amazing, empowering, ridiculously sexy women who inspire me to find the beauty in myself and flaunt it mercilessly.
And what has he done? Stayed, to my knowledge, in the same apartment. Worked a circuit of Ren. Fairs. Fucked a lot of stupid young girls who didn't know better. In short, the same damn thing he's been doing, pretty much since I met him.

One day our paths will cross again, I am fair certain of it. (or maybe I just still hope, foolishly) But if they don't... then it is my stalwart goal to become the heir to the Burlesque throne, be beautiful, poised, graceful, and self-assured. And leave him to wonder just why it was that he thought I was no better than a doormat to be used up and flung out into the rain.

...And as for the regression I spoke of at the beginning of this post, it comes in the form of an old friend, or maybe just an old fandom. A marathon of Stargate: SG-1 reruns yesterday made me think about my early college days, when such events were a weekly occurrance. How different I was then. I used to take time out of each day to recognize the beauty of the world around me. I lived slowly and thoughtfully. I watched the stars, walked in the rain, and meditated frequently.

I feel as though that might be a touchstone for me. Something to get back to. And if it takes a marathon of Stargate now and again to remind me... then so be it.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Monies. Something I don't have right now. But. Things are looking up.

I never want to go into too much detail regarding who I might be talking with, or anything like that. They say everyone can read everything on the internet. And even though the chances of anyone pertinent stumbling upon my humble little blog are relatively slim...

Suffice to say that opportunity has been cropping back up here in Chicago. Which is good. I think I'd like to stay in Chicago a little while longer yet. I seem to have quite a bit of unfinished business here, and I'd like to wrap things up nicely before I bid the midwest farewell.

On the other hand, with increased opportunities comes a decrease in sleeping when I'd like to. I've been spoiled with these last few months, sleeping whenever I will. My natural sleep schedule seems to dictate I go to bed at two and get up somewhere around noon. Unfortunately, this is unsuitable to my current, and very much necessary, 9 to 5 lifestyle. One day I'll be able to sleep in blissfully late. But that day is not today. LeSigh.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The 30 day plan

Like him or hate him, Josef Stalin had at least one good idea. The five-year plan. He laid out, in five year blocks, goals designed to push Russia through the Industrial Revolution and into the 2oth century. And he did it.

And I'm going to do the same thing. On a smaller scale.

It only takes, as I'm sure you've heard, 21 days to make a habit. So... I'm going to round that up to an even month, and have a go at it. I'm going to spend the next few months doing *something* every day, until I just do it every day out of habit.

This month is knitting. Even if I only knit one row, I will knit every single day in February. I'll finish a whole lot of my unfinished projects that way.

Hopefully, after a few months, I'll have a whole slate of things that I love to do, that aren't just clicking away mindlessly at my computer.