focus

Every time I come here, all I seem to say is that I've been away, and that it sucks. So I'll tell you what's really been going on.

I've been working for the last... seven months. The epitome of the 9-to-5. (except that it's really 8:30-5:30) It's the longest I've ever spent continually in one day job. That should be impressive. That should also make you think that I'm happy, finally able to settle into one thing without changing my mind for a whole seven months!

Not really. The day-job is in the northern suburbs, which means I have something like an hour and 20 minute commute in *either* direction. Plus I'm doing a show (that I open next weekend!) so I never see home. I've been blowing all the money I make at this job on fast food (because I'm not at home to cook) and cheap thrills, because I cannot stand this life I'm living, but I don't see a way out of it, so I have to make it as tolerable as possible.

Nevermind that the $2000 credit card bill makes things kind of intolerable.


But I got kind of a wake up call recently. So I've decided to do something. To move my cemented feet. To stop *talking* about doing something different, and to start *doing* something different.


And maybe, just maybe, one of these days, I'll be able to get out of this cycle, and live for myself.