I had been on a roll here, I think. If I remember May correctly. It doesn't seem that long ago, but yet...
I came back and was too starstruck. I didn't want to drool all over my blog about sexy Germans.
And then I got busy.
And then I got comfortable.
And then I got fired. So here I am.
I have one more week at work (really, I got laid off, not "pack your stuff" fired.) and I've been trying to put together some sort of plan for my imminent future.
Just what, exactly, am I going to do with myself?
I've been listing the myriad of vintage patterns I've picked up lately on Etsy. You can check them out at www.etsy.com/shop/ravenwcatz, if you're curious. Mostly stuff from the 70's and 80's for the time being, but once I've inventoried the lot, there might be some older goodies popping up here or there.
I'm thinking about starting a blog. Ha ha, you say. You already have one. You're writing on it right now.
Let me be more clear.
I'm thinking about blogging. Having a burlesque blog, one for my photography, and one for these infernal patterns, as I work through and catalog them all. I think it might be fun to comment on them. Everything from the evolutionary dead-ends of fashion to finished projects, if I'm so inclined.
I have to remember to apply for unemployment.
I have to remember to register to vote.
Did I mention my birthday is in two weeks? Yep.
There's a lot going on here, and I hope it doesn't slow down. Even if I don't have a job in October, it looks like I'll have several gigs lined up that should carry me partway.
Mostly, I can't wait for this week to be over. Because after that, I won't be obligated to care anymore.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
I'm not dead. I promise!
Things have gotten very busy here for me, and by that I mean:
~I had a bunch of performances all in a row for which I was crazy behind in finishing costumes/choreography/what-have-you.
~THEN it was almost time for me to go on my mini-tour seeing Rammstein.
~THEN I saw them. In Chicago. And Detroit. On the rail.
~THEN (well, not really THEN, more like WHILE I WAS DOING THAT...) I got into the coveted afterparty in Chicago, a surprisingly chill deal wherein I did a little dancing, got Richard Z K to sign my ticket, was TWO FEET from Paul Landers, but all I had in me to say was a lame hello, and generally behaved like a socially inept dweeb. BUT I GOT IN. Baby steps. Schneider was also there, but he was pretty preoccupied with some other chick, and since I was busy being awkward turtle I figured I'd just avoid that whole situation. (not like "PREOCCUPIED" preoccupied. But he was talking to her, and I was just sort of orbiting them all like some sort of awkward-feeling asteroid (Or Pluto, perhaps? It has to be awkward not really being a planet anymore.), so. Yeah.)
~and NOW I'm staring down the barrel of four performances in the next two weeks, four in June, and four in July, not to mention the start of rehearsals for Lebowski (BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THAT AGAIN THIS YEAR. WHEE!), plus PUDDLE and the Windy City Burlesque Fest, and all the prep work that I have to do for THOSE things, and... Urgh.
So... Busy. busybusybusy. But it's good busy.
P.S. Paul Landers is wonderful. I have such a crush it's shameful. I couldn't say a damn thing to him because I was afraid of sounding like a weirdo. It was like being in high school all over again, except we're grown adults and there's no reason I should feel that way around ANYONE anymore, particularly someone I might never see again.
P.P.S
See?
~I had a bunch of performances all in a row for which I was crazy behind in finishing costumes/choreography/what-have-you.
~THEN it was almost time for me to go on my mini-tour seeing Rammstein.
~THEN I saw them. In Chicago. And Detroit. On the rail.
~THEN (well, not really THEN, more like WHILE I WAS DOING THAT...) I got into the coveted afterparty in Chicago, a surprisingly chill deal wherein I did a little dancing, got Richard Z K to sign my ticket, was TWO FEET from Paul Landers, but all I had in me to say was a lame hello, and generally behaved like a socially inept dweeb. BUT I GOT IN. Baby steps. Schneider was also there, but he was pretty preoccupied with some other chick, and since I was busy being awkward turtle I figured I'd just avoid that whole situation. (not like "PREOCCUPIED" preoccupied. But he was talking to her, and I was just sort of orbiting them all like some sort of awkward-feeling asteroid (Or Pluto, perhaps? It has to be awkward not really being a planet anymore.), so. Yeah.)
~and NOW I'm staring down the barrel of four performances in the next two weeks, four in June, and four in July, not to mention the start of rehearsals for Lebowski (BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THAT AGAIN THIS YEAR. WHEE!), plus PUDDLE and the Windy City Burlesque Fest, and all the prep work that I have to do for THOSE things, and... Urgh.
So... Busy. busybusybusy. But it's good busy.
P.S. Paul Landers is wonderful. I have such a crush it's shameful. I couldn't say a damn thing to him because I was afraid of sounding like a weirdo. It was like being in high school all over again, except we're grown adults and there's no reason I should feel that way around ANYONE anymore, particularly someone I might never see again.
P.P.S
Friday, April 13, 2012
Sometimes life gets in the way
Sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes you just get so bogged down looking at the teeny, insignificant little details, that you can't possibly see anything other than minutae and blur. I've been having one of those moments.
An update: The costume for my Live Band burlesque act is coming together. I still have bunches to do, but it's mostly cosmetic work now, making everything sparklier and prettier, and more custom-looking. I have until next Saturday to have the final touches on everything, but I'd still like to get the brunt of it all done this weekend.
Another update: I have been bad. I have been bad because I am so used to being bad that it is more second nature to me than being good. I have wanted to take photographs, and told myself, of all things, maybe later.
There is no maybe later in life. I am slowly re-learning the art of living on impulse, of giving myself permission to do things.
I am also starting to save some money for a new lens for my camera. I'm debating between the 50mm f1.8 or the 50mm f1.4. the 1.4 is about three hundred dollars more expensive, which means I won't have it until my birthday, at least, unless some things start looking up for me, but it's a much better quality lens. I'm torn between instant (well, more instant) gratification, and my unbending will to have only the nicest things.
I'll probably go for the 1.4, for the record. If I play my cards right, I'll have fifty dollars toward it by the end of the month, which means $350 left to go. ^_^ The way I figure it, if I buy nicer lenses from the outset, I won't have to upgrade EVERYTHING when that magical day comes when I can afford a real, professional-level digital camera body.
An update: The costume for my Live Band burlesque act is coming together. I still have bunches to do, but it's mostly cosmetic work now, making everything sparklier and prettier, and more custom-looking. I have until next Saturday to have the final touches on everything, but I'd still like to get the brunt of it all done this weekend.
Another update: I have been bad. I have been bad because I am so used to being bad that it is more second nature to me than being good. I have wanted to take photographs, and told myself, of all things, maybe later.
There is no maybe later in life. I am slowly re-learning the art of living on impulse, of giving myself permission to do things.
I am also starting to save some money for a new lens for my camera. I'm debating between the 50mm f1.8 or the 50mm f1.4. the 1.4 is about three hundred dollars more expensive, which means I won't have it until my birthday, at least, unless some things start looking up for me, but it's a much better quality lens. I'm torn between instant (well, more instant) gratification, and my unbending will to have only the nicest things.
I'll probably go for the 1.4, for the record. If I play my cards right, I'll have fifty dollars toward it by the end of the month, which means $350 left to go. ^_^ The way I figure it, if I buy nicer lenses from the outset, I won't have to upgrade EVERYTHING when that magical day comes when I can afford a real, professional-level digital camera body.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
And now for something completely different.
I realize, academically, that The Other Side of Life is not terribly much more than 80's pop garbage, but goddamn it, I was born in 1986, and I will love it no matter how awful people say it was. Even the really horrible synth and poorly-written lyrics. Even this:
I'm listening to this track as we speak, actually.
And, just to keep this somewhat on a topic that kind of fits the theme of this blog, I've been tossing around the idea of maybe eventually putting together a burlesque act to "Sunset/Twilight Time" from Days of Future Past. I love the eastern-y sound, and am tossing around either the concept of being an Indian deity, or Ra, since it is all about the sun...
I'm listening to this track as we speak, actually.
And, just to keep this somewhat on a topic that kind of fits the theme of this blog, I've been tossing around the idea of maybe eventually putting together a burlesque act to "Sunset/Twilight Time" from Days of Future Past. I love the eastern-y sound, and am tossing around either the concept of being an Indian deity, or Ra, since it is all about the sun...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
A (very) personal project
Every once in awhile, I get a brainwave that has nothing to do with how much money I could be making. It doesn't happen very often anymore, since I live in a constant state of financial desperation, but once in a great while, it occurs to me that there are things that I would like to do, simply because I have a passion to do them. This is one of those moments.
I was supervising a theater rental last night (I brought Kenneth along with me, bribed with coffee, but that's another story.), and I was remarking about how I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself, as I don't even trust myself enough to know that what I want is really what I want, or is good for me. I've been continually frustrated by this self-mistrust lately.
Driving home, I dropped Kenneth off at the train, and took Lakeshore Drive up north. I rarely drive on LSD, because the traffic can be hellish, and really, it's out of my way, unless I have to drop people off at the train for any reason. Zipping up the shoreline, I hazarded a glance out at the endless darkness that is Lake Michigan. And I remembered how much I love the water, and how it's really been nagging at me that I wish I could get out of the city and go spend some time at my family's cottage in northern Michigan.
And then I remembered a goal I had had when I was about 16 or so. I had decided that I wanted to photograph all the lighthouses on the Great Lakes. When I was 16, I decided it would be AWESOME if I could make the whole trip on foot, because then you would really be in tune with all the minutiae of the world and the water. For the record, I think it would take about a decade to walk around the ENTIRE chain of great lakes. Thinking about it right now, it would probably be a really cool thing to do by bike, if I wasn't planning on carrying a zillion pounds of gear, or bringing companions. As it stands, my current hope is to be able to start in Chicago, end in Buffalo, and pass through about ten thousand towns along the way, dead, dying, post-industrial, or resort.
I want to photograph the lighthouses, yes. And the lakeboats, and the lake, and the water and the trees and the sky. But I also want to record a narrative of the midwest. The Great Lakes region. Canada and the U.S. The collective voice of my home, the people who live there. The history that runs through everything like water. The whole span of human history, crushing in front of my lens simultaneously.
I want to take the summation of all my feelings about those woods and that water from my entire life, and I want to express them.
My end goal is twofold. I'd love to write a book about the experience, stuffed with shiny, full-color digital photographs of my journey.
But I'd also like to take the absolute best of the photographs, be it ten or a hundred or seven-hundred-thirty-two, and create prints. The platinum-palladium prints that I learned in college, that lent such a timeless antiquation to my subjects. And I'd like to have a gallery exhibition. I want the narrative of my lakes and my history and my boundless love to be shared, to be known.
So... I'm going to start researching, with the goal of departing in the summer of 2013, and just being an adventurer for however long it takes. I need to know a lot of things before I go. How many lighthouses *are* there? What else can I plan on visiting? How much time can I allot in case I find something I *didn't* plan on visiting? Hotels? What happens to my apartment? My cat? Who wants to come with me, and for how long? I imagine this journey is going to take the entire summer, at the very least.
And I don't want to neglect the other part of me either. I'd love to do some research into the burlesque scene of every major metropolitan area I will pass through on my journey. I'd love to make my personal journey one where I build bridges in the present-day as well. And it wouldn't hurt to get paid to perform every once in awhile on my way either.
I expect this project will be coming, sooner or later, to Kickstarter, in the hopes that I can drum up support for the grandest adventure I've always ached to have.
I was supervising a theater rental last night (I brought Kenneth along with me, bribed with coffee, but that's another story.), and I was remarking about how I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself, as I don't even trust myself enough to know that what I want is really what I want, or is good for me. I've been continually frustrated by this self-mistrust lately.
Driving home, I dropped Kenneth off at the train, and took Lakeshore Drive up north. I rarely drive on LSD, because the traffic can be hellish, and really, it's out of my way, unless I have to drop people off at the train for any reason. Zipping up the shoreline, I hazarded a glance out at the endless darkness that is Lake Michigan. And I remembered how much I love the water, and how it's really been nagging at me that I wish I could get out of the city and go spend some time at my family's cottage in northern Michigan.
And then I remembered a goal I had had when I was about 16 or so. I had decided that I wanted to photograph all the lighthouses on the Great Lakes. When I was 16, I decided it would be AWESOME if I could make the whole trip on foot, because then you would really be in tune with all the minutiae of the world and the water. For the record, I think it would take about a decade to walk around the ENTIRE chain of great lakes. Thinking about it right now, it would probably be a really cool thing to do by bike, if I wasn't planning on carrying a zillion pounds of gear, or bringing companions. As it stands, my current hope is to be able to start in Chicago, end in Buffalo, and pass through about ten thousand towns along the way, dead, dying, post-industrial, or resort.
I want to photograph the lighthouses, yes. And the lakeboats, and the lake, and the water and the trees and the sky. But I also want to record a narrative of the midwest. The Great Lakes region. Canada and the U.S. The collective voice of my home, the people who live there. The history that runs through everything like water. The whole span of human history, crushing in front of my lens simultaneously.
I want to take the summation of all my feelings about those woods and that water from my entire life, and I want to express them.
My end goal is twofold. I'd love to write a book about the experience, stuffed with shiny, full-color digital photographs of my journey.
But I'd also like to take the absolute best of the photographs, be it ten or a hundred or seven-hundred-thirty-two, and create prints. The platinum-palladium prints that I learned in college, that lent such a timeless antiquation to my subjects. And I'd like to have a gallery exhibition. I want the narrative of my lakes and my history and my boundless love to be shared, to be known.
So... I'm going to start researching, with the goal of departing in the summer of 2013, and just being an adventurer for however long it takes. I need to know a lot of things before I go. How many lighthouses *are* there? What else can I plan on visiting? How much time can I allot in case I find something I *didn't* plan on visiting? Hotels? What happens to my apartment? My cat? Who wants to come with me, and for how long? I imagine this journey is going to take the entire summer, at the very least.
And I don't want to neglect the other part of me either. I'd love to do some research into the burlesque scene of every major metropolitan area I will pass through on my journey. I'd love to make my personal journey one where I build bridges in the present-day as well. And it wouldn't hurt to get paid to perform every once in awhile on my way either.
I expect this project will be coming, sooner or later, to Kickstarter, in the hopes that I can drum up support for the grandest adventure I've always ached to have.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A matter of perspective
I've been feeling very overwhelmed and unmotivated lately. Sometimes, I feel as if that is my natural state, since I seem to say that a lot. But it's true. The more I have to accomplish, the more I want to run away, until I'm trapped in a corner with my hands over my ears going "LA LA LA! CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"
I've been having one of those moments the last few weeks. There are dishes in my sink that are now coated with some sort of nastiness that I don't even want to fathom, because every time I look at them, I just get too overwhelmed to deal with it.
I had a chat with one of my fellow burlesketeers, Marci Vousplait, a few days ago. We both made our debuts sometime last year, and both of us remarked how this feeling has set in where we just don't want to work on anything right now. For me, it's this overwhelming feeling again. I've accomplished how many acts? In six months time, I've finished two regular-run acts, one holiday act, worked on another, plus the three iterations of our group act, the Vaudezilla group acts, and our new group act. It's a lot of work, and a lot of money, and it's gotten to the point where I just have a hard time thinking about it without reflexively watching a few minutes of MacGyver, (or a random Youtube video) just to try and chase it out of my head.
But I've been thinking about it today. Because it's really sort of a matter of perspective. The first thing that helped was writing myself a to-do list. Just a short blurb to get everything that was nagging at me out of my head, and down on a thing I can look at to remind me. The next thing was really mentally preparing for showing my latest act in rehearsal tonight. Normally an activity I dread, this time I concentrated my energies on trying to give a good performance, and really boosted my enthusiasm for getting it accomplished. And you know what? It was a zillion times better.
I know that I have a hard time seeing the forest through all the trees, but I'd like to keep concentrating on the big picture, knocking out one thing at a time, and really attacking these next few weeks. Because I can accomplish everything on those big, scary to-do lists. I just have to look at it the right way.
I've been having one of those moments the last few weeks. There are dishes in my sink that are now coated with some sort of nastiness that I don't even want to fathom, because every time I look at them, I just get too overwhelmed to deal with it.
I had a chat with one of my fellow burlesketeers, Marci Vousplait, a few days ago. We both made our debuts sometime last year, and both of us remarked how this feeling has set in where we just don't want to work on anything right now. For me, it's this overwhelming feeling again. I've accomplished how many acts? In six months time, I've finished two regular-run acts, one holiday act, worked on another, plus the three iterations of our group act, the Vaudezilla group acts, and our new group act. It's a lot of work, and a lot of money, and it's gotten to the point where I just have a hard time thinking about it without reflexively watching a few minutes of MacGyver, (or a random Youtube video) just to try and chase it out of my head.
But I've been thinking about it today. Because it's really sort of a matter of perspective. The first thing that helped was writing myself a to-do list. Just a short blurb to get everything that was nagging at me out of my head, and down on a thing I can look at to remind me. The next thing was really mentally preparing for showing my latest act in rehearsal tonight. Normally an activity I dread, this time I concentrated my energies on trying to give a good performance, and really boosted my enthusiasm for getting it accomplished. And you know what? It was a zillion times better.
I know that I have a hard time seeing the forest through all the trees, but I'd like to keep concentrating on the big picture, knocking out one thing at a time, and really attacking these next few weeks. Because I can accomplish everything on those big, scary to-do lists. I just have to look at it the right way.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The big announcement, part two
Well, I guess now's as good a time as any to make my big announcement. I will be performing my murder act (Haifisch) as part of this year's Windy City Burlesque Fest! I'll be getting the opportunity to share the stage with such wonderful, talented ladies as Jo Boobs, Foxy Tann, and Penny Starr Jr. (Whom I've met on a few occasions, and have a huge admiration for)
In addition to being able to perform with such esteemed burly-girls, I am also crafting my (not-so) famous handmade feather fascinators for the goodie-bags of all our headliners and featured performers. I'm stoked (and terrified).
SO. If you happen to be in the Chicagoland area the weekend of July 13-14th, you should REALLY make it a priority to get yourself down to at least one of the showcases of the Windy City Burlesque Fest. (Hint hint, I'll be performing at 8pm on Friday, the 13th. Not like you weren't going to figure that out on your own, to come see me. But now I've done the work for you.)
In addition to being able to perform with such esteemed burly-girls, I am also crafting my (not-so) famous handmade feather fascinators for the goodie-bags of all our headliners and featured performers. I'm stoked (and terrified).
SO. If you happen to be in the Chicagoland area the weekend of July 13-14th, you should REALLY make it a priority to get yourself down to at least one of the showcases of the Windy City Burlesque Fest. (Hint hint, I'll be performing at 8pm on Friday, the 13th. Not like you weren't going to figure that out on your own, to come see me. But now I've done the work for you.)
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